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Classic Novels Rewritten as Dude Lit + Popular Dude Lit Books

Jessie Gaynor, the Social Media Editor at Lit Hub, writes "Man, people make fun of chick lit a lot! But you know what's also easy to mock? Dude lit. Here are the first lines of classic male-authored novels rewritten as dude lit:".
Below are 2 examples using Books 1 & 2. Follow the link to see the revised opening lines of Books 3-10. The remaining 30 books on the list are Popular Dude Lit Books (real ones) from Goodreads to whet your appetite.
Moby-Dick:
"Call me Ishmael. I can't tell you my real name, or I'd have to kill you."
The Stranger:
"Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday; I can't be sure. I was only sure of one thing: I wouldn't rest until I found the man who killed her."
217 users · 443 views
 
from lithub.com · made by Markd9528
avg. score: 7 of 40 (18%)
required scores: 1, 3, 6, 8, 11 

How many have you read?

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1
Moby-Dick (Herman Melville)
Moby-Dick (Herman Melville)
2
The Stranger (Albert Camus)
The Stranger (Albert Camus)
3
Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
Anna Karenina (Leo Tolstoy)
4
The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
5
Invisible Man (Ralph Ellison)
Invisible Man (Ralph Ellison)
6
The Good Soldier (Ford Madox Ford)
The Good Soldier (Ford Madox Ford)
7
Notes From Underground (Fyodor Dostoevsky)
Notes From Underground (Fyodor Dostoevsky)
8
Swann in Love (Marcel Proust)
Swann in Love (Marcel Proust)
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9
The Old Man and the Sea (Ernest Hemingway)
The Old Man and the Sea (Ernest Hemingway)
10
The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
The Great Gatsby (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
11
This Is Where I Leave You (Jonathan Tropper)
This Is Where I Leave You (Jonathan Tropper)
12
High Fidelity (Nick Hornby)
High Fidelity (Nick Hornby)
13
Book of Joe
Book of Joe
14
Everything Changes
Everything Changes
15
Ready Player One (Ernest Cline)
Ready Player One (Ernest Cline)
16
Armada (Ernest Cline)
Armada (Ernest Cline)
17
My Little Soldiers (Glenn Barden)
My Little Soldiers (Glenn Barden)
18
About a Boy (Nick Hornby)
About a Boy (Nick Hornby)
19
How to Talk to a Widower
How to Talk to a Widower
20
Foundation (Isaac Asimov)
Foundation (Isaac Asimov)
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21
1984 (George Orwell)
1984 (George Orwell)
22
Haunted (Chuck Palahniuk)
Haunted (Chuck Palahniuk)
23
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Hunter S. Thompson)
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Hunter S. Thompson)
24
Starter for Ten (David Nicholls)
Starter for Ten (David Nicholls)
25
American Gods (Neil Gaiman)
American Gods (Neil Gaiman)
26
The Maze Runner (James Dashner)
The Maze Runner (James Dashner)
27
Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk)
Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk)
28
Siddhartha (Hermann Hesse)
Siddhartha (Hermann Hesse)
29
The Name of the Rose (Umberto Eco)
The Name of the Rose (Umberto Eco)
30
Post Office (Charles Bukowski)
Post Office (Charles Bukowski)
31
Sex in the Title
Sex in the Title
32
Mr. Commitment (Mike Gayle)
Mr. Commitment (Mike Gayle)
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33
Steelheart (Brandon Sanderson)
Steelheart (Brandon Sanderson)
34
The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. - Kate Hudson (Adelle Waldman)
The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. - Kate Hudson (Adelle Waldman)
35
The Pleasure of My Company
The Pleasure of My Company
36
One Last Thing Before I Go (Tropper)
One Last Thing Before I Go (Tropper)
37
Plan B
Plan B
38
Juliet, Naked (Nick Hornby)
Juliet, Naked (Nick Hornby)
39
How to Be Good (Nick Hornby)
How to Be Good (Nick Hornby)
40
Norwegian Wood (Haruki Murakami)
Norwegian Wood (Haruki Murakami)
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