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50 Absolute Worst Christmas Songs

Every year, people put aside petty differences to agree on 1 thing: Christmas music is almost universally unbearable. Sure, there are beloved classics, but for every Nat King Cole or Bing Crosby gem, there are dozens of fresh disasters arriving annually as the music industrial complex never stops its hateful assembly line of woe. But the songs that have stood the test of time come from artists who were the epitome of musical cool in their day—Elvis' "Blue Christmas," or Wham's "Last Christmas," for example—but it's only through the Instagram lens that these have been grandfathered into the canon; that's because Christmas is never about the present but about the past. It's not this week's holiday we're looking forward to, it's the ones that have gone by. We're hoping to feel the way we used to when we were younger. And yet, the vast majority of Xmas songs are the furthest thing from a comfort blanket. Here's a countdown of the 50 ABSOLUTE worst (ranked) How many have you heard?
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1
The Christmas Shoes - Newsong
The Christmas Shoes - Newsong
2
Little Mary Christmas - Roger Christian
Little Mary Christmas - Roger Christian
3
It's Christmas Now - Jojo Siwa
It's Christmas Now - Jojo Siwa
4
Dead by Christmas - Hanoi Rocks
Dead by Christmas - Hanoi Rocks
5
Hanukkah Song - Adam Sandler
Hanukkah Song - Adam Sandler
6
Back Door Santa - Clarence Carter
Back Door Santa - Clarence Carter
7
3 Hos - Kiesza
3 Hos - Kiesza
8
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer - Elmo & Patsy
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer - Elmo & Patsy
9
Carol of the Bells - Pentatonix
Carol of the Bells - Pentatonix
10
Leroy the Redneck Reindeer - Joe Diffie
Leroy the Redneck Reindeer - Joe Diffie
11
White Christmas - Iggy Pop
White Christmas - Iggy Pop
12
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays - *NSYNC
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays - *NSYNC
13
Anything by Mannheim Steamroller
Anything by Mannheim Steamroller
14
Mi Burrito Sabanero - Pedrito Fernandez
Mi Burrito Sabanero - Pedrito Fernandez
15
White Trash Christmas - Bob Rivers
White Trash Christmas - Bob Rivers
16
Oi to the World - No Doubt
Oi to the World - No Doubt
17
I'm Your Private Santa Claus - Eddy Arnold
I'm Your Private Santa Claus - Eddy Arnold
18
Please Daddy (Dont Get Drunk This Christmas) - John Denver
Please Daddy (Dont Get Drunk This Christmas) - John Denver
19
Christmas at the Airport - Nick Lowe
Christmas at the Airport - Nick Lowe
20
Santa Claus and His Old Lady - Cheech & Chong
Santa Claus and His Old Lady - Cheech & Chong
21
Il Est Ne Le Divine Enfant - Annie Lennox
Il Est Ne Le Divine Enfant - Annie Lennox
22
Christmas Tree - Lady Gaga
Christmas Tree - Lady Gaga
23
Oh Holy Night - Christina Aguilera
Oh Holy Night - Christina Aguilera
24
Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS - Tiny Tim
Santa Claus Has Got the AIDS - Tiny Tim
25
That's Christmas to Me (Pentatonix, 2014)
That's Christmas to Me (Pentatonix, 2014)
26
Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy - Duck the Halls
Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy - Duck the Halls
27
Homo Christmas - Pansy Division
Homo Christmas - Pansy Division
28
I'm Gonna Put Some Glue 'Round the Christmas Tree - Joel Grey
I'm Gonna Put Some Glue 'Round the Christmas Tree - Joel Grey
29
Christmas at Ground Zero - Weird Al Yankovic
Christmas at Ground Zero - Weird Al Yankovic
30
Mistletoe - Justin Bieber
Mistletoe - Justin Bieber
31
This Christmas I'll Burn It to the Ground - Set It Off
This Christmas I'll Burn It to the Ground - Set It Off
32
Don't Shoot Me Santa - The Killers Featuring Ryan Pardey
Don't Shoot Me Santa - The Killers Featuring Ryan Pardey
33
Santa Baby - Pussycat Dolls
Santa Baby - Pussycat Dolls
34
The Night Santa Went Crazy - Weird Al Yankovic
The Night Santa Went Crazy - Weird Al Yankovic
35
The Lost Christmas Eve - Trans Siberian Orchestra
The Lost Christmas Eve - Trans Siberian Orchestra
36
I'll Be Stoned for Christmas - Bob Rivers
I'll Be Stoned for Christmas - Bob Rivers
37
Merry Christmas - Ed Sheeran & Elton John
Merry Christmas - Ed Sheeran & Elton John
38
Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire - Bob Rivers
Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire - Bob Rivers
39
I Believe in Santa - Meghan Trainor
I Believe in Santa - Meghan Trainor
40
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - Gayla Peevey
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - Gayla Peevey
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